Entry One: We are Uniquely Equal

In the second grade, my mother gave me a t-shirt that read, "Anything a boy can do, a girl can do better." It was a nod to girl power, which I liked. But even as a seven year-old, I knew somehow, well, it was a little braggy.

I discovered something important the day I wore it (that one day I actually wore it to Bulman Elementary School); the theorem it was "putting out there" wasn't entirely tenable.

On our walk to play the "troll under the bridge" game at recess, I was confronted by my classmate Ritchie who, pointing at my shirt, said, "Oh, yeah? You could play football and baseball better than me? Really?" I was somehow mildly insulted, even though I could play neither football nor baseball better than any single person. I replied, "If I practiced a lot, and worked out, I could!"

And to this day, I believe that to be true for many other girls. Other girls.

Then some of the other cheeky boys pointed out that I could never be better than them at being a dad; in fact, I would never be a dad. And I fell into an indignant silence, because they were right, but I felt they missed the point of the shirt that girls are awesome like boys, and have lots of cool stuff they can do.

While the boys ran to the slide's ladder to avoid being the troll in the game, I stood fuming about the philosophical error for which I had just been called out. It was true. Girls could not do everything a boy could do.  There were some ways that boys and girls were different because one was a father and one was a mother. At the time, I could not articulate these things, and rather than give it any more thought, I headed underneath the slide to be the troll, having arrived last thanks to the second grade philosophy smack down.

The flawed "radical feminist" philosophy of the old shirt is its assertion that girls and boys are not equal exactly-that in fact, girls have an ability to go beyond what men can do. This is flawed philosophy as any seven year-old boy can tell you. Unfortunately, some radical feminists have proposed just that: men and women are exactly the same, and at times, some have even implied that women are superior to men. 

I, like Ritchie and his gang, have come to reject this idea of feminism.

Men and women are united in their humanity far more than their sexuality divides them, though the latter is an integral part of the former; each of us is made in the image and likeness of God, and therefore have innate dignity as people. We are each called to live a life of holiness. None of us should ever be used as tools or objects for pleasure, or as a means to wealth; and each of us is called to love one another as we love ourselves.

But men and women are two different human creations with somewhat different psychology and behaviors, gifts and talents. We do not repel each other with our differences; we are created for attraction to one another in a complementary union. We are puzzle pieces which fit together to make a beautiful scene.  We are a sort of yin and yang, if you will.  Two images, similar in size and shape, but that fit together because they are designed that way.

Men are men and women are women; men are husbands, and women are wives; men are fathers, and women are mothers.

We, simply, are not exactly the same. Our roles are fundamentally different. Just ask a seven year-old. Persons who are exactly the same have the same strengths and weaknesses, which make it virtually impossible to grow or build something great if no one is there to fill in the gaps. Each person brings something to the friendship, to the marriage, to the family, to the society. And this enables the friendship, the marriage, the family, and the society to live and grow and reach its tremendous potential as something magnificent and beautiful.
 
But how are women different from men? What characteristics are uniquely their own? Any psychologist, any comedian, or any seven year old, has ideas on the female mind and soul. This field is lined with many a landmine called "stereotype" or "gender bias". But learning something worth knowing is always dangerous...the field must be trodden. Once we understand who woman is, there is a question I think is far more important.

How can the female soul be truly happy?

How can a woman, a wife, a mother, be truly happy in her life? I propose looking to the highest example of a woman, a wife, and a  mother that we have. I propose looking to someone who lived the creed that women are equal in dignity to men, and both are capable of holiness. I propose looking to Mary to discover how women can be authentically happily in their lives.